He says he’s sorry. You still don’t trust him. Now what?

You’ve been betrayed, and you know you have to forgive. But does that mean you also have to trust?  What’s the difference? This is a dilemma I hope we can sort out together.  Let me give you my take on it: 1.  You can decide to forgive your husband. In fact, no matter how deeply he’s hurt you, the Lord’s commandment on this is clear (Mark 11:24-25, 26) and there’s no “escape clause” in these verses for angry, hurting wives. If you read these verses, you’ll see Jesus teaching that unforgiveness stands in the way of answered prayer!  We all Continue Reading

Thanksgiving: The Ultimate Survival Technique

It was Thanksgiving 1981, and since I was supposed to be thankful for what I had, I went down the list. I had: -A husband who’d just admitted to an ongoing affair    with a woman he wouldn’t give up. -A two month old son. -A completely uncertain future. -A body exhausted from stress, weeping  and nursing a newborn. -A broken, confused, disillusioned heart. -A mind ready to explode from the traffic going through it. -A holiday dinner to help prepare. -A charade to keep up in front of my family. Thankful? You're kidding, right? Continue Reading

Your husband’s admitted he’s homosexual. What now?

The Faces Behind the Issues Here in California, we’re in the middle of a huge and heartbreaking controversy over Proposition 8, the marriage amendment that essentially banned same-sex marriage in this state.  Amidst all the political upheaval, people often forget the faces behind the issues: many of those faces belong to women who are trying to cope with the revelation that their husband is homosexual.  And though the Christian worldview on homosexuality differs from that of our culture, it does not necessarily grant immunity from the issue Continue Reading

Your Husband’s Using Internet P**n. What do you do?

You just found out your husband’s using internet p**n. What do you do? 1. Make sure he knows that you know he’s been using porn, and that it is completely unacceptable to you. Don’t accept a simple, “Sorry, it won’t happen again.” Instead, let him know that you consider his porn use to be serious enough to warrant action in addition to apology.    2. Insist on getting an internet filter/accountability device immediately.   I’d recommend any of the following: Triple X Watch http://x3watch.com/ Be Safe Online Continue Reading

It Happened to a Nice Christian Girl

Me: Raised in a Christian, healthy home with loving parents in a safe, vibrantly happy atmosphere. Him: Worldly wise and charming; a committed Christian, talented and smart. Us: A born-again couple ministering in a contemporary Christian band, writing and performing our own music, traveling the country while playing at churches, Christian coffee houses and concert events. Everything was in place, so how could it all fall apart? No warning signs; no red flags.  Years into our marriage, we’d just had our first child when he broke the news, Continue Reading