In August 1961 construction East Germany began construction on the Berlin Wall in order to completely cut itself off from West Germany. East Germany was firmly entrenched in becoming a socialist/fascist state, and threatened by the freedom offered on the other side. The barrier they built included guard towers placed along large concrete walls, and it included anti-vehicle trenches and defenses meant to keep people from defecting from the communist side to the democratic side. In the post-World War II period from 1961 to 1990, over 5,000 Continue Reading
May 8, 2013 By
Beachball Therapy- Not!
Have you ever tried to hold a beach ball underwater? It takes a lot of energy and focus. You may be trying to hide it from someone else in the pool, trying to make nice and act like you don’t have it. But invariably, something will happen – you get distracted, you loosen your grip, someone calls your name, and whoosh! That beach ball ascends to the surface with astounding speed, and once it starts, it’s almost impossible to stop. The force with which it reveals itself can be surprising and shocking. That’s the way the world tries to Continue Reading
May 16, 2012 By
His Emotional Ambivalence, Squared
One of the things that I find comes up in coversations with wives over and over again is the issue of a husband's ambivalence towards his recovery. On the one hand they seem to say, "Yes, I'm sorry for what I've done, and I don't like the consequences of it." and on the other side, their actions (or lack thereof) seem to say, "But I don't want to give it up--it feels too good, it's become too important to me". The wife finds herself in an excruciating state of frustration. While he seems to be giving lip-service to what he knows to be right, Continue Reading
April 3, 2012 By
Three Obstacles to True Forgiveness
For a wife who is dealing with her husband’s sexual sin, part of the process of forgiveness includes coming to an understanding of what she has truly lost by the betrayal, and then beginning to release the debt of the offense against her. If she doesn’t go through this process, I’m not sure she can truly say “from her heart” she has truly forgiven. (Matthew 18:32-35) But forgiveness can be a challenge because the hurt may still resonate, and the emotions and fears combine to add confusion as to what true forgiveness looks like. Here are Continue Reading
February 14, 2012 By
Recycle My Heart: A Valentine’s Day Prayer
It wouldn’t be fitting to leave you “postless” on St. Valentine’s Day. I have ruminated about what to say today to the women who read this blog; women who have been hurt by spouses in ways that make them feel… less like a Valentine and more like a discarded newspaper. Once upon a time, interesting, but today--old news. I remember feeling like that. Valentine’s Day was particularly difficult for me when I went through the painful rejection in my first marriage. (See It Happened to a Nice Christian Girl) After all, the day is all about Continue Reading
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