Some of you have probably noticed I haven’t posted in awhile. I’ve had every intention of whipping out my inspiration and astounding you all with my brilliance and insight. But my right brain would have none of it.
Can anyone relate to this? The pent up emotion, the sadness, the joy—the exasperation!
The brain-freeze. The sudden urge for chocolate.
It’s a Jumble Out There
I may be, like many of you, suffering from information overload. I have Face Book, I get text messages. Internet and cable news outlets beckon me to read the latest on Brittany Spears and the Stimulus Package. Uh… make that the Over-Stimulus Package. (So high you can’t get over it, so low, you can’t get under it. Oh, mess with my soul.)
Our culture spews out information and stimulus like baseballs at batting cages. Eventually, we cease to connect with the ball. And once in awhile it hits us in the head. Dazed and numb, we can’t process anymore. I tell you, it’s a jumble out there.
Just Stop It
So what’s a stressed, overwhelmed mom and wife to do? Just Stop It. (Nike, be quiet, I am not “just doing it” today.) I am stopping and resting. I am taking in the quiet whisper of the Lord. For He is not in the whirlwind of the airwaves (I Kings 19:11-12) and even though problems pursue with a vengeance, He says “stand still, and know that I am God”. (Exodus 14:13-14) I am reminded of His power when I have come to the end of my own:
“The Lord your God is with you,
He is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you.
He will quiet you with His love
He will rejoice over you with singing.” -Zephaniah 3:17
Many of us have difficult relationships to manage on top of the day-to-day responsibilities of life. We look for answers and comfort but find many competing voices. Confusion, hurt and fear hit us like fastballs and we feel like we can’t do life anymore. But God sees and asks us to take His promise to heart. He is waiting to quiet us with singing and whisper of His great delight in us. And as we find rest for our souls, the clutter will dissipate and we’ll be able to see His work in our situations more clearly.
I’m standing still and taking in the quiet whisper – can you hear it too? -R
Denise,
It sounds like you’re getting worn down by your husband’s repeated behavior, and I hope you will be able to find some relief, even if it’s just a quiet afternoon all to yourself. I think it’s wise to take time to seek counsel and carefully look at what actions you should take because whatever you do will affect your whole family.
I think when people get involved in sexual sin it sometimes seems like thier personality has changed — maybe it’s the deception, maybe it’s the fantasy world they live when they use porn. At any rate, your husband’s energy and focus is not where it should be, which is on his wife and family. That resulting hurt is difficult to live with day after day.
So I hope your counselor will help you in setting boundaries with him that will not only let him see the serious nature of what he’s doing, but will also enable you to take care of yourself. Only you know what those will be, and I pray that God will give you wisdom and peace as you explore this. Please check out my WifeBoat Just for Today posting for some things to do in the meantime. And please check back with us here and let us know how you’re doing. God Bless. -R
I have been battling my husband going back to porn for 15 years now. He has stopped for 4 months to 2 years at a time (so he says) and last month he took 9 pictures of a family members cleavage. He doesn’t want to be this person and has gone to counseling and is going to counseling again. I really don’t want to be married to him any more not just because of the porn but I just don’t like his personality any more (or is that because of all the times he’s hurt me). I know it would destroy my family and that God doesn’t want families broken up. Since it is so fresh I’m not acting rash – I’m being still and waiting on God but also seeking some counsel for me and the children. Please pray for us!
Sonya,
I’m reminded of an old hymn, “The Quiet Hour” which we used to sing alot when I went to Calvary Chapel. It’s stuck with me all these years. I wish I had room for the whole song. The first verse is
” Speak, Lord in the stillness, while I wait on Thee;
Hushed my heart to listen in expectancy”.
The song goes on about listening, how His Words are food for our sprit, and yeilding to Him; the last verse describes someone who has been ministered to and nurtured by being in the presence of God:
“Like at watered garden, full of fragrance rare,
Lingering in Thy presence, let my life appear.”
What a treasure this little hymn is. -R
Renee, thank you for re-opening our ears to God’s soft assurances today. My mind knows He is ever present, and that I am a protected, precious treasure to Him. But sometimes, the deafening roar of my current circumstances make His whispers inaudible to me.
At least for the present moment, I am still. I am listening. I hear. Thanks for turning up the volume.