Blessed be the Lord, 
For He has shown me his marvelous
kindness in a strong city!
For I said in my haste,
‘”I am cut off from before your eyes”;
Nevertheless You heard the voice
of my supplications
When I cried to out to You.
Oh, love the Lord, all you his saints!
For the Lord preserves the faithful,
And fully repays the proud person.
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart,
All you who hope in the Lord.
-Psalm 31:21-24 New King James
I love this Psalm, because it tells us of God’s ability to reach us when we are at our most inconsolable. Facing the adversity of a husband’s unfaithfulness can create a such a debilitating brokenness in us that we may find ourselves saying, “It’s over for me—I’m lost and I can’t find my way!”
But hold it! Isn’t that exactly what David said? (‘I am cut off from before Your eyes”) That tells me God fully understands what it’s like to despair, and He doesn’t hold it against us because, as David said in the next sentence, “Nevertheless, You heard the voice of my supplications.”
And He hears yours, too. The writer of this Psalm says as much. He had been wasting away with grief and felt discarded. He thought God had abandoned him. But then as he began to reflect on God’s goodness to those who trust in Him, he began to revive. He realized that God had been with him all along, showing him kindness and giving him strength.
We often can’t see above the storm we’re in when we’re in it. We only know we feel lost and beyond help. But He lives above the storm; He sees you and hears your cries for help. And so the Psalmist shares his experience with you, because he knows firsthand,
“Be of good courage, hope in Him, and He shall strengthen your heart,
all you who hope in the Lord.”
Going through infidelity in my relationship and after 5 years I had to take time to really heal…very difficult.
Hi there,
A while back I read your husbands book called Desires in Conflict.
At the time I was grappling with my own issues of SSA and GID. Although I had been strongly leaning towards embracing a journey towards healing and wholeness in Christ. I still had these arguments in my head that I needed to address and work through.
And the primary conflict could best be described as a conflict because I truly desired to know God, to know His ways, and to deepen my relationship with Him.
Anyways, I had also read Anne Paulk’s books, the first one that she wrote with her husband John Paulk, Love Won Out, and then her solo work I can’t remember the name of that book… perhaps Restoring Sexual Wholeness … I think, or something like that.
When I read your husbands book even though it was writen for men in mind I still learned a lot from that book. Anyways, I decided to e-mail your husband to say, “you know, the book was a useful tool me as well even though I’m a girl.”
I attended a couple of Love Won Out Conferences held in the Vancouver area.
I’m not a wife, I’m single, although I have found resources much like Focus On The Family touch on issues that still really spoke into my life and gave me a little direction while trying to navigate through my very complicated life. And so, as a single adult where my community is made up of mostly very straight people who know nothing about my ongoing struggles (although I’m apart of the Living Waters leadership team in my area/assitant small group leader), I’ve come to look for resources in abstract ways that don’t seem too logical… like for example, Focus On The Family and resources for marriage. I say it’s not too logical because marriage for me doesn’t seem to be in my future. Although, I’m totaly open for what God may bring into my life. I’ve learned to take my own agenda and bring it to the cross and allow for God to show me who He is and what His desires are for me. It’s proved to be an adventure thus far. So, whatever God does, and wherever God takes me…I’ll just see and continualy be amazed with all that God does in my life.
Looking forward to reading more of your blog.
Sincerely,
Janey<
It’s so sad that in my culture most of the women are still quiet about their pain in abussive relationships. If they have the chance to find out and beleave the comfort our Lord gives to every soal, they would receive hope.
I was one of them.
Thank you for your article. This is a very comforting as I have been trying to hang in there through some tough and confusing things in my marriage. I know sometimes we have to go by “faith and not by sight”… which is easier said than done! We don’t always have all the answers, but the part about God strengthening my heart helps me alot.